THE ONLY THING YOU NEED FOR A BETTER LIFE IS TO GET MORE EXCITED

New Year - New Me - New Job - New House?

New Year

I remember January 2013, I started off the year full of ambition and excitement for a new year after what I thought had been a difficult year. Turns out 2013 was ever harder than 2012 was and around this time last year my mother in law was diagnosed with cancer for the 3rd time. I immediately lost motivation, be came depressed and for the first time in my life would suffer from anxiety and anxiety induced vertigo.

Well that was last year, and last year is SOOO over. Here we are at the start of 2014 and again I am filled with ambition and excitement and a bucket list a mile long. Overly ambitious? Always, Yes I am - but I am learning not to mind it. If I set the bar high and accomplish even half I will walk away satisfied, much better than not having any goals or not even trying to try.

Recently I was at the LA FitExpo ( amazingly awesome day BTW ) and the MC to an event there said "THE ONLY THING YOU NEED FOR A BETTER LIFE IS TO GET MORE EXCITED".

Well y'all, I am excited. Is my life perfect? HELL no. Don't let me think about Bills too long cause the anxiety comes back, am I behind in my training because I got Bronchitis ? (more on that later) absolutely and now I have to move house unexpectedly in a month of less (deep breath - a planners nightmare) - but am I stressed - nope, not one bit and that's because I am TOO excited about what life will bring us this year to be stressed out.

New Me

Each situation in life that we face we can cry and whine and stress and lose sleep but none of those things make us feel better and none of them help us get through. I never saw my mother in law complain she had to do chemo again. I never saw her once complain "why me?" that she should have cancer 3 times. At the end when treatments didn't work, she still had infinite patience for her grandchildren and she only worried for those she would leave behind. So each day when I get stressed I remind myself of her patience and I breathe and some how I become more patient. I remind myself of my promise to her to take care of her boys, so my getting stressed out is not going to help my husband feel better or myself. Each time we go though something in life that is hard we have to struggle but that struggle is where we learn something and we grow. Losing her was one of the hardest things I have been though but I feel that I am stronger, more patient and each week I think about how I am and what I can do to make her legacy live on and that is how I approach life and how I behave. Each situation negative or positive always presents an opportunity, so I am not looking at the closed doors but I am searching for for a window of opportunity opening up for me.

To that end when I recently got extremely sick (Asthma Attacks, Bronchitis) only a month before my first Race for my #14in2014 - I tried to practice what I preach and not get discouraged. Instead I didn't just eat clean but I specifically ate for health and specifically my upper respiratory health - ginger, garlic, onions, dark chocolate (good for coughs if you didn't know) , Kombucha, fruit - anything I could eat to boost my immune system I did. I was still sick for a full week, but 10 days later I was running (slowly) again and just a week after that I managed to run 4 miles non stop for the first time post-baby.

New Job

I am excited to share that after making a dedicated personal commitment to make my career more meaningful last year, after many months and numerous applications I have finally been offered and accepted a new position. I will be working for a very prestigious cancer center on the west coast in the department of "Cancer Prevention and Control Research". Am I going to be curing cancer? Nope I doubt it, BUT I will be in a position to learn and be able to assist others who are trying to do great things. Every Doctor and Researcher needs an assistant and now I will be assisting many. I am excited.

Additionally, my fundraising website has been set up for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society as I have been confirmed to participate in their Team in Training Train Your Way program.  I have set my fundraising goal as $14,000 for my 14 in 2014. Overly Ambitious? Possibly, but did you read above ^^^

New house

Lastly it would seem the rental company is selling our property so we have to find a new place to live. This is just the thing that would stress me out so much before but not anymore. This is an opportunity to possibly find somewhere better with cheaper rent or a nicer laundry room and if we have our way - it will be closer to the gym.


So that's whats going on with me - A LOT! && this weekend is my 1st  #14in2014 event - the Surf City Half Marathon.

So please  show your support, make a donation to the LLS and support their mission to find a cure and support cancer patients and their families #nomorecancer.

Thank you in advance for all the continued support but emotional and financial.

<-- http://pages.teamintraining.org/los/tnturway14/ebarela <---- Fundraising link :-)

Erin
xo

Meeting "no excuses" fitness Mom - Maria Kang @ the LA fit expo 

Our Angel

There was a woman who had the patience of an angel. 

Our Angel had a beautiful baby boy

Who grew up to like rock music just like his Momma.

Our Angel  had a husband & family & friends who all loved her

Then the boy met a girl.

He took the girl home to meet his Mom

Then the two moms got to meet

Soon the boy & girl were engaged.

Then, our Angel got sick. 

Our Angel looked forward to the wedding 

Our Angel fought hard and got better.

Our Angel danced with her Son at his wedding.

The boy & the girl went on a honeymoon 

Our Angel waited for a baby to be born.

We were blessed with a baby boy

The new baby boy looked just like his Daddy when he was born.

Our Angel watched him everyday while his Mama and Daddy went to work.

We celebrated the baby's 1st birthday 

Our Angel was always there to support her son. She was so proud of him.

Our Angel loved the holidays - especially spoiling her grand babies 

She loved me like her own daughter 

Our Angel babysat so we could have date nights & would ask us when we were making her more babies 

Our Angel got sick again.

She couldn't watch her babies anymore, but we still went to visit.

I knew this time was different, so when our Angel lost her hair so did we.

We celebrated Mother's  Day

No matter what she always had the energy for her babies

Our Angel continued to enjoy life with her family 

Then the doctors told us the Chemo didn't work.

I promised my Mother in Law I would always love & take care of her boys. 

Our Angel & her son were forever faithful SF 49er Fans.

We celebrated the baby's 2nd Birthday.

Then heaven gained a new Angel.

  

"My Angel, My Heart, My Rock"

The Son found the perfect way to honor her Memory when the niners built a new stadium.

Our Angel now has a beautiful view of the City of Angels. 

14 Races in 2014 in memory of Our Angel because every second of every hour of everyday we miss you Mom.

It's not the same without you, we are forever blessed to have had you even if the time we had was far too short. 

No More Cancer.  #14in2014

Food, Family & Fitness

Nothing exciting to report - busy as ever with family, working out and eating lol.

Christmas was quiet & low key this year. The absence of my mother in law weighed heavy on our shoulders as it was our first Christmas without her.

Although we ate more than we should we didn't go too crazy. The hubby and I are taking advantage of time off together to work out with eachothers despite    both having sinus colds. Today we signed up for our gyms fitness challenge. I figure the extra motivation couldn't hurt and there is a cash prize !  I also set up a FB group for some of my mommy friends and I to motivate each other to wo and eat healthier in the new year. 

Made sure tonight I made a dinner to help us get over our sinus colds - home made soup from pork broth and Japanese noodles with fresh garlic, ginger and green onions- my version of ramen.  The ginger, onion & garlic should boost our immune system and it tastes super yummy. 

I also got crafty with my running shirts today to show I'm running for more than just fitness. I think about my loved ones a lot on the treadmill - sometimes it makes me very emotional but it feels good to let it out on the treadmill - running is def helping me work it out in a healthy way.  Running has taken on such new meaning  for me since I decided to fundraise for LLS. 

Now enjoying a quiet evening thinking of meal planning ideas, planning out work outs and watching Dispicable Me with my lil angel baby ❤️

What CANCER looks like

Want to see what cancer looks like?

These are two moving and beautiful tributes.

http://www.upworthy.com/a-husband-took-these-photos-of-his-wife-and-captured-love-and-loss-beautifully?c=reccon1

http://shine.yahoo.com/photos/widower-reenacts-weding-photographs-with-3-year-old-daughter-slideshow/nunerys-8-photo-1387302995350.html

 Below a photo also of my mother in law 3 days before she passed.

CANCER IS WEAK despite all that it does because it CAN NEVER destroy the LOVE.

Can't stop - won't stop!!

Good morning!

Feeling much more positive this last week as I am channeling all of me into something bigger than me - it genuinely feels like I was meant to do this. Silly nonsense also seems to wash off me - I don't have time for you nonsense or drama I'm on a mission! A mission to run A LOT & fundraise and raise awareness for disease prevention! 

Got the ball rolling too on many different aspects of the 14 in 2014 mission.

Signed up to attend the LLS  2014 Blood Cancer Conference.

Will be attending the LA Fit EXPO

Started writing to sponsors regarding setting up a 5k in mother in laws honor but need to really find a location and other people to help me plan the event to benefit St.Jude.

In other news I made contact with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and they have some great wats to help me train and fundraise for them.

I have been working out mostly doing Zumba as I was using up a groupon. I love groupon! So many great gyms and fitness classes I couldn't afford to go to often made super affordable. WO don't have to be boring - find something you love! 

My schedule flips at work today which means I now will try to hit the gym before work a couple times a week. 4:30am is going to be my regular alarm time once the holidays have passed.

I also need to find a printer or custome apparel company to help me promote myself through apparel when I work out. 

So much to do!  Seems like nearly everything has to wait til the New year but at least I have got a little bit of a head start.

If you know if someone that can help in 5k sponsorships or with custom fitness apparel please let me know!

Make everyday count people - everyday we are alive is a blessing!

Photos below are me post work out last night - I worked 7-6 then did my Zumba b4 home. Tired ? Yes! But what's motivating me? Training to fundraise for cancer research ...

 && my beloved MIL. The photo of her is at my sons second birthday party, she was holding him after his nap. She passed away 3 days later on what would have been her last day of radiation but her heart physically gave out. They already had told us the chemo didn't work but they were hoping to extend her life - they failed. This is why we NEED better cancer treatments. 

xo

Boo you FaceBook 2013 in review

So it's almost the end of the year which means Facebook has some new feature where it pulls what it determines to be your year's highlights and compiles them in a cute way  share. Everytime I see that on my page I hate it more. I can't help it - 2013 was the worst year in my life. So to think of it in review, here is what I think of.

December 2012 - Right before New Years the photo of my hubby and I in Vegas looking happy and young and how beautiful my hair was and I was feeling better after a stressful year and how I couldn't wait to embrace a fresh new year to push towards my goals.

January - the sudden diagnosis of my mother in law having cancer again and having her feeding tube inserted again.

February - canceling our vacation to see my family in England (we haven't seen more of them since 09/10 and only my my mom has met our son)

April - the day I saw my uncle and father in law with shaved heads and then cut off my long hair and donated it to locks of love and them my husband and friend shaved their heads also in support of my mother in law.

June - my sons 2nd birthday 

July - the day my mother in law died, 3 data after my sons birthday and 2 days after I had returned to work. I thought this was the worst day of my life.

October - our 3rd wedding anniversary when I thought we were getting back to normal - or as normal as we could be

October - the day I completed the Long Beach Half Marathon and I conceived #14in2014

October - the day my husband had his car accident. He could've died but his guardian angel was watching over him. 

This was the actual worst day of my life. This was the day I realized how deeply our life had changed and we weren't anywhere as near to normal as I had previously hoped.

There were other moments in this year that I remember ...

Announcements of pregnancies 

The birth of a baby

The loss of a baby

Finding out someone named  their child after me - that was one of the best moments if the year. 

But through & through the best part of the year day in day out, was my son.

Since he was born my mother in law, or Grandma as he knew her, watched him while we worked or when we need a night off so we could have a date night. Grandma lived for her babies, her patience, love and kindness knew no bounds. Perhaps that is her legacy  - when I struggle for patience I think of her , breathe deep and somehow my patience grows. I know her grandchildren are what kept her fighting everyday, i never new how true it was that children are a blessing until 2013, from my my 2013 all of the best moments were related to the children in my life.

*****

I wrote this last week when I was feeling blue. The blue passed, but if this is a blog of my journey than it should be posted. 

Photo shown is of grandma with her grand baby Mother's Day 2013. Already in treatment but always time and energy for the loves if her life- her grand kids

xo

Grateful tonight for my health

It's funny how all consuming grief can be. The hole that a loved one passing leaves behind can be so huge that it can overwhelm you. You can't fill the hole with food, alcohol, tv or even working out. The distraction is only temporary and when it's over the grief is still right there in front of you. But at least with working out there is no guilt or shame after. I totally failed at one of my 2013 goals which was to stop comfort eating with carbs.  2014 will be another opportunity to succeed at that. I will learn from my failures - 2014 I pledge to use my training to manage my stress. A healthy outlet that will benefit my mind and body.

  My loved ones have been on my mind all day since I created this blog and when I left my Zumba class in the cold and the dark my grief was there waiting for me. Such a buzz kill but never the less I made the most of my day and killed my work out.  I also reached out to start making connections for my #14in2014 challenge - I must focus on those positives. There is a long road ahead of me to reach the end of this personal challenge & I'm sure it will be emotional as instead of ignoring the grief I will face it head on. But cancer patients can't ignore their disease either they have to suck it up and go through treatments that temporarily can feel worse than the disease. 

Before you go to sleep tonight take a moment to be grateful - for you health and your family. Don't take it for granted, we only have one body and we must take care of it.